Knoxville, Tenn. – Pat Summitt becoming a mother made her a better coach, at least that’s what her former captain LVFL Shelley Collier Sexton believes.
However, she did win six more national championships after having her son, Tyler in 1990.
Despite other successful examples, trying to be both wasn’t always encouraged.
As Lady Vols’ Kim Cadwell prepares for her first child, I sat down with former Lady Vols who became moms, and continued coaching.
“I have had people tell me when I started having children, “Oh, there’s no way you’re going to coach and be a mom too.” That was said. And I said, “You know what? I’m going to prove you wrong,” said Sexton, now the girl’s head basketball coach at Lenoir City.
Sexton, captain of the first Lady Vols’ team to win a national championship in 1987, eventually became a highly successful high school basketball coach. She led the Webb Lady Spartans to 10 state championship games, winning six.
Though early in her career, she wanted to be a collegiate coach, but Summitt didn’t think the timing was right.
“Pat Summit and Leon Barmore both told me not to get into college coaching at the time. Pat looked at me at one time, because I really, there was a position open and I was hoping to join that staff. And she said, “I can’t, just can’t look at you and have you go recruit for two weeks and be gone from your kids,'” said Sexton.
As the landscape and industry of women’s basketball improved, the concept of being able to do both is welcomed more than ever.
“I’m really excited that women are now that are in college coaching, that are having children because I think that’s wonderful. I think you’re sending a message that family is important, and then you don’t have to give up what you love to do just because you’re a mother,” said Sexton.
Though no one ever said motherhood would be easy, and trying to be a coach certainly requires the ability to multitask.
“Oh, Pat was the queen of multitasking,” exclaimed Sexton.
Something, Sexton is all too familiar with, raising four daughters.
“When we were growing together and I was still coaching, I would pack up their stuff in their little backpacks. We would have 6:00 AMs, and I would have their stuff. I would pick them up, put them in the car, asleep,” said Sexton. “We would drive up to the Webb School of Knoxville, and I would take them out, sit them down, and practice. So it was, I don’t know how that was, survival mode. I honestly look back on it now and don’t know.”
Prior to loading the car to take her daughters to basketball practice, Collier’s first stop after leaving the delivery room was to see her former coach, Pat Summitt.
“The first stop from St Mary’s when we had her now, changed the hospital over about Fulton, that’s where I had all my daughters. And the first stop on the way home was to see Pat. So she actually held every one of my children before I went home on the way home, and they grew up knowing Pat,” said Collier.
Sexton described some of those early conversations, “Well, she said, you know, everybody’s gonna try to tell you how to raise your daughter, I had to raise your children. No one knows better than you do. You raise your children how you want to. That was part of her advice to me, and then not worry about what everybody thinks.”
Sexton certainly took that to heart with her with Britney, her youngest daughter.
Just days after giving birth, she left her team speechless when she showed up for the team’s rivalry match between her Webb Lady Spartans and Catholic.
“I said, I’m going home! I’m coaching. I’m not gonna miss this game. My players didn’t even know it was coming,” revealed Sexton. “My coaching staff was prepared to coach. I come walking in the Catholic and they’re all, they’re not just gone. Like, what are you doing here? And my mom was so mad at me for going. My husband goes, “You better not get up out of that seat!”
“I came walking in the gym. I think one of my players didn’t really like me that much, but that right there turned her. Her name is Lindy Cohen. She immediately just, there was just a bond between us. Wow, I can’t explain it, but I won her over. We ended up winning the game. So that was good,” laughed Sexton.
A sacrifice made that highlights the family she’s built with her team.
“It’s wonderful,” said Sexton. “I feel like I have a hope. You know, these are all my daughters in this, in a way, in a sense, they know that I care about them. We talk about, you know, basketball, that what you’re learning out here is not just basketball, it’s about life, and this is equipping you with tools that are you going to help you be able to get through situations and adversity down the road that you may not get through it had you not gone through this.”
Becoming a mother also gave Sexton a new perspective on coaching, similar to the change she saw in her head coach.
“It was really wonderful also to see Pat have that experience as a mom. I think it changed her, helped her be a better coach. Because I think it helped her relate to her players, not that she got any softer, but kind of sort of she did. I think when you have your own children, you just kind of have a different perspective. It brings another extra layer to you as a coach,” said Sexton.
Sexton added, “I’m very excited for Coach Caldwell, for Kim, because she’s going to be a great mom. You know, there’s, there’s no calling like being a mother. And I know it’s her first year, and people may look at that like, well, how does she you know, I’m just excited for her because, you know, now it’s not the same as you know in the past, where people frowned upon man, I think generally, everyone’s really excited about her being a mom and a coach.”
As Lady Vols’ Kim Caldwell navigates being a new mom while being in her first season at Tennessee, Sexton said it’s important to remember it takes a village no matter what.
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You know, let people help her and not feel bad about that. And she’s gonna, you know, to have her when they’re young. You can just take them with you. It’s not like an issue. They can be around because, you know, they can travel with you. They can be in practice with you. You can stop and do whatever you need to do, whether it’s nursing or whatever you’re taking care of your child. Go right back into practice again. I’m so excited for her. She’s going to be a great mom, and she’s a great role model. And it does take a village, and you just can’t be afraid to ask for help, because people want to help you,” said Sexton.